


Green and Grey

by Ashratherose



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Death, Depression, M/M, Rape, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt, eren wants to die, grisha is an abusive arse, idk why i wrote this, noncon, teen awkwardness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:40:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8926291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashratherose/pseuds/Ashratherose
Summary: Set in a modern au Eren is a 15 year old who's suffered years of abuse from Grisha in more ways then oneLevi doesn't know why but he wants to help Eren out of the situation he's in.Trigger warnings: rape, violence, self harm and suicide attempts.





	1. Chapter 1

15 years he's been alive. 15 years and he's accomplished nothing.

*  
Eren was 7 when his life was turned upside down. His life had been the picture of normality. A loving mother a caring father, a white 2 story house in a good suburb. That had been his life.

As long as he lived he'd never forget that day.

*  
His mother had been the centre of his world. His friends had teased him about being a mummas boy but he didn't care, she was his sunlight.

When they'd left home it had been just starting to snow, Eren loved snow, he loved how the world of colours could be painted white in a few short hours. He loved the way his mother would hold his hand so he couldn't slip or fall. He loved building snowmen with his best friends Armin and Misaka. 

They'd been walking back from shopping, his mother had wanted to make a special dinner to mark the beginning of the snowy season but had needed to go to the shop. She'd chosen to walk because she knew Eren's love. If only they hadn't.

It wasn't like this was a bad neighbourhood, in fact it was the kind of place everyone knew each other and kids could play on the streets with no worry from their parents, it was a safe place.

Eren had been walking behind his mother when he'd tripped over his own feet. The small "mmph..." he'd let out was what had caused his mother to turn around. He could still remember the way she laughed and smiled as he'd struggled from the snow, a big smile plastered on his own face. She'd knelt down with her arms wide, ready to catch the cold boy... but then it all changed... his white world turned red.

He'd started to run towards his mother, not even seeing the man behind her he hadn't even heard the "bang", he hadn't even heard his own scream, he could only see red and feel the warmth on his face.

He didn't know how long he'd stood there screaming. He didn't know he was covered with blood or brain matter. He didn't know he'd pissed himself in fear. He didn't know anything.

*  
The cops said it was a tragedy. His beautiful young mother shot in the head from behind in front of her only sons eyes.

His family was well known, his father worked at the local hospital and ran an after hours clinic from their house. His mother worked at the local daycare. It was a family of love but in that moment everything had changed.

His father fell apart. He'd driven himself to insanity, wondering day after day if anyone he treated had been the one to kill Carla. Eventually he was let go on "compassionate grounds". Eren thought it was because more often then not he'd go to work drunk.

He could still remember the first day it happened too.

Winter had finally turned into spring and he even though things had been awkward at home with his mother now gone he was still happy this day.  
He'd got his first A. Well him, Misaka and Armin but he was still so proud.

Unlocking the door the first thing he'd noticed was how wrong the house felt, almost like he shouldn't be there. But still he'd pushed in, excited to tell his father all about it.

Grisha was in the examination room when Eren finally found him. He'd run across waving his project so happily, he hadn't even realised his father was drunk, well not until his father smacked him across the face.

As his legs buckled under him he felt the warmth spread down his face.

They said it was a physiological issue, the trauma from seeing red that day. Whenever he saw blood he'd slip into these small fits. He never remembered what he did or said in them, only that it happened whenever he was panicked.

He didn't realise his father had even picked him up, nor that he been stripped down and was now on the examination bed. He didn't understand my his arse hurt so bad and his thighs felt sticky. He was only 7.

*  
He never told anyone about it. He thought it was normal, why else would his father do that if it wasn't.

He was 10 when realised it wasn't... but he still never told anyone. All he felt was shame. Shame in his own ignorance and fear. The man he'd loved so much once was now the scariest person he knew.

And yet to the outside world Grisha was a man who'd lost himself only to rebuild himself from the ground up. A man to be loved and respected, never a cruel word for anyone and would help even the poorest of people. But as they say "you never know what goes on behind closed doors"

By the age of 13 he'd started to cut. He would still phase out as the sight of blood only to come to hours later covered in wounds. The first time his father saw the marks on his thighs was the first time he'd beaten him properly. And still Eren would cut.

It was the high from the first cut that told him he was alive.

*  
He was now 15. His body covered with seemingly unhealing bruises... well the parts that no one even saw. His father wasn't stupid. Never the face or from the elbow to finger tip. Nothing to prove it was him.

The first time he'd overdosed was the first time his father had sold his body for drugs. It wasn't like Grisha was short on cash or anything, it was just easier to trade Eren for what he wanted.

He couldn't remember how many men had been in the room that day. He only remembered the steady red light of the camera recording. No one spoke, instead the noise came from their breathy pants and moans.

They'd left him alone in the white examination room while Grisha saw them out. His hips had stung and he forced himself not to look down at his thighs, knowing what he'd see there. But he still forced himself to move over to the glass cabinet Grisha kept the painkillers in. He didn't know what he took only that he'd swallowed as many as he dried throat would let him.

He didn't remember what happened next, only waking up in a pool of his own vomit. Grisha never said anything, instead a few days later a new lock was installed on the case.

Every 2 weeks this was repeated but he never cried. And no one ever noticed.

*  
Everyday had become a chore. Wake up, shower, school, home, Grisha, pass out. The only time he saw his two best friends was at school and sometimes he'd have to go for days without eating. 

As much as Eren loved school he hated it even more. It was easy enough to keep his grades up and the teachers were nice enough, but the pressure of making sure no one found his secret out. That was what he hated.

The other boys would tease him in the locker rooms for preferring to change in the toilets instead, but he always laughed it off. Weren't teens supposed to be awkward about their bodies?

Sport was his favourite subject of all. He could run all day if given the chance. Even on the days it hurt to move he'd still force himself to run, using the pain to focus. When he was running he didn't have to think. He didn't have to feel. The rush was better than anything he'd ever experienced.

They all wanted him to join the the track and field team, refusing to take no for an answer. In the end they'd called Grisha about it all. Grisha had flogged him so badly that day but had still allowed him to, to keep the facade of a normal family.

It was the first thing in 8 years his father had allowed him to have. 

*  
Eren had never had a problem with making friends. He was popular with both girls and boys because of his looks. He was tall for his age and despite the abuse he was well built, with slightly thick thighs and rounded arse. His skin was brown enough to look like a constant tan and his eyes a clear blue/green.

He never treated anyone differently and as far as everyone knew he was happy and bubbly.

The didn't know it was all a performance. They didn't know he didn't know who he really was, he'd never had the chance. The more he felt lost the more he played his part. Hell even after 10 years Misaka and Armin had no clue.

*  
Tonight would be his first party. Hosted by seniors on the team it was just a given he would be there. So he hadn't told Grisha. Instead he'd taken extra clothes and changed at school.

It was also the first night he'd been able to hang out with Misaka and Armin as Eren had invited them both.

The music could be heard a good block before they arrived at the house. Much like his own it was a white two story with a nicely kept garden out the front. He didn't hesitate as he pushed through the front door.

Almost immediately he lost sight of Misaka and Armin, so he went off to explore.

The kitchen seemed to be the place to be. Empty plastic shot glasses littered the benches and half drunk bottles sat their inviting anyone game with their tops off. Eren didn't care to know what it was only that it would take his pain away.

Grabbing the nearest bottle he pushed on from the kitchen and out to the yard.

Erwin was the first to come over to him. The teen was even taller than him with short blonde hair and built like no tomorrow. Eren suppressed the shudder of revolution he felt as Erwin draped his arm of his shoulder, he knew the teen wouldn't hurt him. So he let himself be lead back to Erwin's friends while drinking deeply from the bottle.

Even if he was somewhat friendly with Erwin he'd never actually talked to anyone in his group before. Instead he know them only by rumour.  
Hanji- she was known for her almost inhuman knowledge of human anatomy  
And  
Levi - Levi was known for his shortness and no nonsense attitude for everything. Most people were afraid or his resting bitchface. Though he was still very popular due to his grey eyes and firm well defined body.  
Almost everyone in school wanted to be in with these 3, but to Eren it didn't matter at all. He was fine with his things were.

Still he sat with the popular 3 and ignored the glares directed his way.

He couldn't really remember what they talked about that night, he'd drunk too much but he'd never felt more alive then he did right then. 

He didn't even remember leaving the party with them either, in fact when he looked back at that night he wondered if it was the alcohol or something else that had stripped away his memories. Whatever it was he wanted more.

And so after that it became almost second nature to sneak out after his father was done with him. Anywhere there was a party he was there. His nights becoming a blur or alcohol drugs.

*  
It was a couple of months later that he'd next gone out with the popular 3. Erwin had scored fake IDs for them all and he'd stolen some cash from Grisha's wallet before leaving.

He didn't know the clubs name only that the music was loud and the alcohol cheap. He left his friends and took up a seat by the bar, it wasn't long until he was being hit on. Eren knew what the man wanted the second he saw him. He also knew he probably wouldn't remember it in the morning so he cut the bullshit and left with him.

They'd only made it to the alley when he started to panic. His drunken mind replaced the mans face with that of his father. Alcohol fuelled his rage and before he even realised he had the man pinned under him and beating his face bloody. He didn't even feel the hands on his shoulder. He'd phased as soon as the older man had started to bleed.

He'd woken up slumped against the alley wall. Thighs sticky and his arse bleeding. He couldn't even find the effort to move as probably would have stayed there if it was for Levi.


	2. 2

Levi had seen the younger teen leaving and thought he would be back after a quick fuck, only after an hour he began to wonder what happened. 

Pushing out the club the first place he checked was the alley. He couldn't help but "tch" at the teens slumped form, he thought Eren had just passed out. It wasn't until he got closer he realised what had happened. His stomach rolled and he swallowed down his disgust, forcing himself closer to Eren.

He could see the teen flinch when he realised Levi was there but he didn't stop. Instead he man handled Eren into a standing position and buttoned up his open jeans. He knew Eren wouldn't want Hanji or Erwin to see this so pulling out his phone he called a taxi.

*  
Eren was sitting in the back seat almost catatonic and Levi was pissed. He'd tried to get the teens address from him but Eren wasn't talking and he'd been forced to take the younger boy back to his place.

They hadn't even made it to the front step when Eren vomited down himself. Levi went from furious to murderous, but still he dragged the teen up the steps and inside.

He frowned at the silence and then realised his uncle was out for the night so continued dragging Eren along the hallway until they reached the bathroom.

Whatever was going on in the teens head was still happening so Levi was forced to throw him into the shower fully dressed.  
He almost laughed at the comical expression that passed across Eren a face as the water hit his skin. It was like a cat that had fallen in water. Shaking his head Eren left to find a towel for his unwanted guest.

*  
He'd say outside the door for what seemed hours and still Eren hadn't called out and the water still ran. Erwin had messaged him asking what had happened to the two of them, he brushed him off saying Eren had gone home earlier and he was now home too. He didn't like lying but he didn't want Erwin to know the kids secret.

It wasn't like Levi hadn't dealt with similar in the past, before his mother had passed she'd been a prostitute. He wondered if the same was true for the teen before quickly dismissing it. Despite all Eren's popularity he didn't seem the type to sell himself.

In the end Levi snapped and entered the bathroom. He'd been just about to yell at the teen when he realised Eren was now sitting on the shower floor naked and shaking. Crossing over he turned the taps off and pulled the teen up and into the towel he'd grabbed for him before.

He tried not to be angry at what he saw but it made him see red.

The teens chest was covered in deep purple bruises and red shiny scars. It ran front and back from the teens knees to shoulders. It was clear the boy had been abused for years.  
Drying him quickly he wrapped the towel around Eren's waist and led him up to his room. 

Sitting Eren down he tried to find clothes that would fit the tall teen but found nothing suitable so left him to rummage through his uncles room. He was lucky his uncle had taken him in after his mothers death and even luckier Kenny was a good guy.

Settling on a short and pair of cargos he headed back.

Eren hadn't moved an inch and it was like he wasn't even breathing, the only sign of life was the fact his lips were now moving, silently speaking to someone unknown.

Putting the shirt on first he then pulled Eren up to help him with the pants. He didn't fail to notice the blood left on the towel and winced. What had happened to the kid to leave him like this? 

Eren stood there and let himself be dressed, even when Levi let go he didn't move at all. So Levi pulled the towel off the bed before throwing it to the side and pulling back the sheets. Pushing Eren down he manoeuvred him against the wall. He watched as the kids eyes slid shut almost immediately.

Still feeling disgusted and now annoyingly sober he grabbed the towel again and went back down to the bathroom to grab Eren's ruined clothes.

Feeling through Eren's pockets he pulled out Eren's wallet, he silently scolded himself for not checking for a phone or wallet before throwing Eren under the water. Still he went and put the bundle in the wash before stripping down and adding his own clothes to the pile. Once the machine was on he headed off for his own shower.

He tried to think of what to say to Eren in the morning but had no clue and in the end he wound up finishing up, drying off, dressing and going to bed.


	3. 3

An unfamiliar ceiling. Immediately he knew he'd fucked up. Grisha would kill him.

The next surprise was equally alarming. Levi was sleeping next to him. He groaned loudly and slid awkwardly from bed. 

The third surprise was the worst. He wasn't even in his own clothes anymore... did he change? If so why... if not did someone see him naked? Did someone know his secret? 

He tried to hold down his panic as his eyes scanned the room. He spotted his wallet sitting on the desk and grabbed it quickly. Not even caring he had no shoes he bolted out the room and down the nearby stairs. He was out the door before he realised.

He had no idea where he was so chose to go left. 

He ran. His eyes burnt almost as much as his chest and tears ran down his face. He didn't stop until he'd put a few blocks between him and Levi and even then it wasn't so much as stopping as dropping down into a jog from his flat out sprint.

It was another 10 minutes before things became familiar and he realised he was nearly home.

*  
Grisha was waiting for him in the front entrance way. The empty bottles on the stairs showed he'd been there a while. 

He didn't even ask Eren where he'd been before grabbing him by the throats and slamming him against the wall. His head hit the plaster hard enough for him to see stars, coppery blood filled his mouth as he bit his tongue.

He tried not to phase out, he tried to stare Grisha in the eyes but it was no good.

Coming to he was laying on the stairs, naked from the waist down. His ribs hurt bad enough to make it hard to breath. He wished Grisha would just kill him.

Hooking his pants and pushing himself up, he leant against the wall as he dragged himself up to his room.

*  
He was panting with effort by the time he reached his bed. Stripping off the unknown shirt he lay there naked and cried.

It was the first time he'd allowed to cry in the house for as long as he could remember.

Rolling over he pulled his wallet out. Only a few bills were left. He'd drunk more than he'd meant to. Pulling the money out he intended to stash it for next time. It was then a small note fell out.  
"If you need to talk, message me  
-L"

Eren's lip quivered as his chest started to heave. Levi knew. There was no point living now. Grisha would kill them both.

Slipping off the bed he sank onto the floor. His father didn't know he kept a knife under a loose floor board. He wouldn't know unless he actually reached under Eren's bed and knew which panel to look for.

Slipping the panel off he swapped the money for the knife.

He knew it would hurt but he didn't care. 

Calming him breathing he thought of Mikasa and Armin. He hoped they would never find out the truth. And if they did they wouldn't be too disgusted.

Raising the knife he pressed it to his throat and swiped across.


	4. 4

Levi had been woken by the slamming of the front door. Normally he never slept as deep as he did the night before, he hadn't even heard Eren leave.

Forcing himself from his bed he headed down to find Kenny.

He didn't know how but Kenny pretty much knew everyone and Levi respected the mans privacy enough not to ask.

Coming down the stairs he could smell breakfast and headed straight to the kitchen.

Both sets of clothes sat folded on the kitchen bench and the towel folded with the bloodstain facing up. Levi winced. This wasn't how he wanted to ask Kenny.

*  
Kenny had been nice enough to let Levi eat first.

And then came that look.

Levi knew he had no choice and explained he'd gone out with a couple of friends from school and a kid he knew from school Eren had hurt himself so Levi had brought him home to clean up.

He didn't miss the way Kenny's face darkened at Eren's name.

When I asked him he said it was better not to get too involved with Eren as the things said about his father weren't exactly favourable. The way he said it made it clear there was no more to be said on the subject.

Taking both sets of clothes Levi retreated back to his room.

*  
Opening the laptop he typed Eren's name into the search bar. Nothing came up. The kid didn't even seem to have Facebook.

Instead results came up for both Grisha and Carla Yeager.  
The first article was about a murder 8 years ago. Clicking the link he skimmed the article. So they kid was the same as him. His mother had died at a young age, except he was there when she died.

Clicking back he scrolled down and read a few more about his father. The man looked normal enough but his smile never reached his eyes. Something about him convinced me he was the one to hurt Eren.

Still I copied down the address off the listing for him Grisha's practice and dressed with the intention of returning Eren's shoes and clothes.

*  
Levi forced himself up the stairs. What was the worse that would happen?

He knocked against the door and nearly jumped when it opened straight away.

Smiling the nicest fakes smile he could he introduced himself as a member of the track team before going on to explain Eren had left his clothes after practice and was here to return them.

He held his breath as Grisha's face struggled to hold back his obviously annoyed scowl. Yet he still let Levi in and directed him up the stairs.

*  
Levi knocked quietly on the door before opening it. He hadn't expected the sight before him. 

Eren sitting with his back against his bed. Head slumped forward and blood everywhere. 

He didn't realise he'd let out a yell nor that he'd called backwards onto his arse.

He watched as Grisha pushed past him examining Eren. He yelled at Levi to get out and Levi scampered.


	5. 5

Eren woke in his own bed, his throat felt raw and as he brought his fingers to it he realised it was bandaged. Fuck.

He'd tried to kill himself. Grisha would be mad. Hell he was surprised his father had even bandaged his neck to begin with.

He tried to move but his whole body ached so abandoned that plan and just stared up at the ceiling.

He'd fucked up again. First Levi had seen the scars and now he'd failed to kill himself yet again.

Why wouldn't this world grant him his release? Surely the years he'd spent abused by his father was enough? Or was it because he'd caused his mothers death?

"Mum"

He didn't realise he'd even said the word until his voice reached his own ears. Closing his eyes he let himself slip back into sleep 

*  
6 weeks Grisha kept him home. 6 weeks he'd been made to stay in his room, but it was also 6 weeks since his father had last touched him.

Although he was under no illusion that this would last much longer.

Standing in front of the mirror he stared at his body, he'd almost forgotten the skin on his chest wasn't naturally purple and yellow. He turned slowly looking at his life story told by the scars. The ones on his back - given while his fathers friends had raped him. The scars on his shoulder blades when his father had copied them and sliced his skin open over and over.  
The ones on his thighs from his own self hatred. The ones on his chest from when his father just because he could.

The one on his neck - from when he'd failed.

And it was the one on his neck that he felt anything for. It mocked him every time he saw it, reminding him of all his failures. If only he'd pressed in a few for mms it would have all been over.

*  
It was now the start of the 7th week since that afternoon, his father had finally allowed him to return to school. He told Eren as far as the school was concerned he'd had phenomenal and not to forget. 

And so Eren found himself in front of the dated brick building the district called a school. All he felt was sick. In those 7 weeks Levi could have told anyone. Everyone. He would have turned and run right then if Mikasa and Armin hadn't shown up from behind him.

His friends bubbles with excitement, joking about how he'd only wanted time off and he didn't have to pretend to be sick for so long. Some of the pressure he'd been feeling lifted. Levi hadn't told them. They didn't know. They weren't disgusted by him.

He let himself be swept away by their happiness.

*  
The mood didn't last long. His teachers were clearly unimpressed with his absence even though Grisha had been oh so kind and gotten copies of all the work he was missing. They all seemed to take pleasure on calling on him for answers and got shitty when he actually knew the answer. 

By the end of the day he wanted to collapse into bed and never move again.

Still he forced himself to stay for Track.

Erwin seemed overly enthused at his return so he pasted on his happy face and acted the way expected of him.  
The 6 weeks he'd been gone showed and he hated himself for it. He found himself unable to keep a proper rhythm with his breathing and had to make frequent stops. It was frustrating.

Still he pushed himself until he could barely stand. He'd take this pain over home any day.

*  
It started again when he got home. His father didn't have to say anything, his expression said it all. Resigning himself to fate he walked into the examination room and laid out on the table. He frowned when he felt a prickly to his arm, his father hadn't done that before.... well from what he could remember and soon he felt himself slip into darkness.

*  
Waking up his body was burning. It wasn't the usual burn from his father taking him and tearing him, no this was across his chest.

He screamed as he'd sat up, fingers shaking as he reached up to touch his ribs. The area was blistered and he could feel residual heat. His father had finally started burning him.

He'd tried to get off the table but his legs wouldn't hold his weight and he whimpered from the pain of his arse hitting the ground. Grisha hadn't come in so it was probable he wasn't home. Biting down on his bottom lip he tasted blood and let himself phase out, hoping he'd end up in the shower.

Instead he ended up in the bath. It had been a long time since anyone had used it and usually it was used for dirty washing. He looked at the sides and realised he must have cleaned it.

He shivered in the cool water, he knew he was probably in shock as well and the coolness while helping the burn wouldn't be helping the shock. He forced himself from the water, once again he forced himself not to cry. 

Staggering across the room he ignored the mirror, he knew how it would look so he wrapped the towel around his waist and slipped back to his room.


	6. 6

Levi had honestly thought Eren had died that day. Every time he closed his eyes he'd seen the blood.   
But what bothered him more than that was the fact he seemed so worried over the teen at all. 

They were strangers, having spoken only a couple of times. Why did he care?

Part of him wondered if it was because he'd lost his mother too... but then wasn't that pity?

And for 7 weeks he'd tried to figure out his emotions. He didn't understand at all and even Hanji had begun to get sick of him mood swings.

The first week after the incident he'd tried to talk to Eren's friends, he casually brought up that they'd hung out the other day and he hadn't gotten Eren's number. They told him Eren had no phone. He'd thanked them and walked away even more confused.

His question was designed to first find out if the kid was alive and secondly if he did in fact have a number... if the two brats didn't know Eren was dead then that meant he was alive right?

God it did his head in.

*  
Erwin was the one who'd told him Eren had come back that day. Levi bit back the sigh of relief, and then panicked. If Eren was being abused that was 6ish weeks stuck at home with his abuser and that thought made his stomach roll.

And so he came up with what he thought was a good plan.

Using his own savings he'd purchased Eren a cheap phone and set it up under his name, he'd also taken the liberty of saving his, Erwin's and Hanji's numbers in it. He knew they wouldn't mind and he wanted Eren to know he wasn't alone.

He'd also downloaded a heap of different songs on to it, kind of like a modern day mix tape. He didn't know if Eren would even take it but he wanted to get to know the kid better.

The hard part of the plan was actually getting the phone to Eren. He didn't know what the teen would do if he saw him. It seemed he was the only one who knew Eren's secret and he knew that meant the boy would probably try keep his distance. He could try leave it in Eren's locker but that didn't guarantee anything. Instead it seemed the best plan was to try and get to the kid when Grisha wasn't home.

And so it was now Wednesday afternoon and Levi was watching the house. He watched as Grisha's friends entered and prayed for Eren's sake nothing would happen. He watched as Grisha left with the group just over an hour later, he watched as the two cars drove out of sight and then made his move.

*  
He wondered if he should knock, but what if Eren couldn't answer? Forcing down his nerves he tried the handle... it was actually unlocked. Slipping inside he headed up to where he remembered Eren's room being.

Eren was laying on his bed, eyes wide and not moving. He recognised this from before. A sheet was pulled up over his chest and he prayed Eren wasn't naked underneath. Surely if his father was beating him he wouldn't also be raping him either... 

Sitting on the edge of the bed he shook the teen gently, but nothing happened. He tried again a little harder and still got no response. Levi cursed he didn't know how long he'd have until Grisha came back.

Slapping Eren across the face he winced at his own actions. Slapping an abuse victim? Smart one?

He hadn't expected it to work but he watched as Eren's eyes slowly refocused.

He turned to Levi and panicked took over.  
He screamed at Levi to get out but Levi didn't move.

He didn't bother trying to calm Eren either.

Placing the box on the bed he told the teen that this phone was for him to use whenever he needed or wanted. Even if it was just stupid shit, he'd still answer. 

Eren was clearly confused but Levi shook his head. He needed to get other the house so he did, he walked out and then ran down the street so Grisha wouldn't be able to tell he'd been anywhere near the house.

*  
It wasn't until he was home he finally stopped. He felt like a complete idiot but at least the kid wasn't alone now. He knew he should have called the cops but he was too scared Grisha would come after him or Kenny. He hated himself for leaving Eren to be abused because he was scared. That's not the kind of man he wanted to be.

*  
He hadn't expected to hear from Eren. He didn't know what would happen if Grisha found he had a phone so when he did get a text he didn't quite know what to say.  
Eren : why?

That was a good question.   
Levi : I don't know. Seems like you need a friend.

God he sounded lame.  
Eren : so pity? Thanks but I don't need it.

Levi : you aren't the only one with secrets. So no not pity.

Eren : i don't know what you are talking about. So leave me alone.

Levi : people don't go around cutting their own throats

He winced. Maybe too harsh.  
Eren : how the fuck do you know?

Levi : I found you you fucking fool. 

Eren : I wish you hadn't.

Levi bit his lip. He didn't know if he realised he'd admitted he was suicidal and he didn't know what to say to that.

Eren : what you doing?

Levi raised a brow. This kid was mental, but still he found himself texting back. And again. And again.

*  
The days Eren didn't come to school Levi knew because his phone would vibrate all day.

He found himself more and more interested in the teen. Though they never talked at school and thanks to Eren's "illness" they hadn't hung out or anything he still found himself happy to receive his texts.

It wasn't even like they talked about anything important, most of it was about Levi's taste in music or as Eren would say his lack of, how class was going? Plans for the weekend, those sorts of things. It was like an unspoken a rule. I won't ask about your secrets and you won't ask about mine.

But still Levi wanted to know. He wanted to know more and more about the teen and that only confused him even more. 

In the end he'd given in and asked Kenny about it, some what awkwardly as he couldn't really mention Eren, so it was more a questions about what he felt when he read Eren's messages.

Kenny had laughed and Levi had been confused. He told him that he was in love.

Levi felt his heart stop. 

He couldn't possibly be.  
Eren was a guy.  
Eren wasn't even a friend.  
Eren had scars.  
Levi didn't know how to fix someone hurting. Let alone heal a scar.

No he couldn't be.


	7. 7

Eren hid the phone at night under the floor boards. It was the only safe place in the house and the phone his only escape from reality.

He didn't know what Levi wanted from him. He'd replayed the day he'd dropped the phone off again and again and still didn't understand it.

He wanted to know more about Levi. He found himself smiling like a moron every time he'd get a new message and was one day Grisha would come in and kill him for it. But he didn't care. He finally had someone who knew his secret and treated him no different.

He didn't realise how badly he'd needed that contact. He didn't realise how much it had hurt that Mikasa and Armin had been so oblivious. 

He wanted to talk to Levi at school but didn't know where to draw borders so only socialised if Erwin dragged him over. 

It took a while but he soon realised he'd actually fallen for his grey eyed saviour. 

*  
It was the first day of winter and snow had fallen during the night. It did nothing to help Eren's mood. He hated the snow.  
He hated the coldness and the way it bathed the world white.  
But most of all he hated the fact it reminded him so strongly of his mother.

Grisha had already drunk himself stupid by the time Eren slipped from his room. In 8 years his father had never visited his mothers grave where as Eren went every year.

Finding out his small stash of cash he headed out.

As he walked his only stop was to the small florist, they were a bit expensive but today that didn't matter, he smiled politely and paid the woman for a bouquet of orange gerberas. Their brightness reminded him of his mothers love.

It took him a good hour to walk to local cemetery, he hated looking at how far it sprawled now. So many people laying here, so many lives lost and love ones grieving. Pushing the thought from his head he walked through the rows until he finally found where his mother rested.  
Sitting down he started to tell her about everything. Well not quiet everything. He never talked about his father, he wanted him mother to always have the happy memories of before things changed.

The sun was starting so set by the time he left. 

*  
Grisha wouldn't notice he was gone, not tonight so he headed out. He wanted the moment of silence that only alcohol and drugs could deliver. He didn't want to think or feel.

They didn't even ask ID when he entered and he let out a small sigh of relief.

He finally turned his phone on and found Levi had sent him a heap of messages. They started with the usual what are you up to and the slowly progressed into clear worry.  
He wasn't really sure why he he text Levi the name of the club he was at. If he showed he showed, if not it didn't matter.

He was well on his way to being happily buzzed when he saw Levi cutting through the crowd. His heart skipped a beat and then the dread set in. Levi was on his own. He didn't know what to say.

As Levi sat next to him he nervously waited for him to break the silence. Only he didn't instead he ordered his own drink and sat there quietly. The awkwardness of the situation was sending Eren's nerves into overdrive. He downed his drink and ordered another.

He didn't know how long they sat there, neither talking but he did know his mind had finally stopped racing and he was borderline wasted. It was time to go. 

He half tripped over his feet and would have fallen if Levi hadn't caught him, he tried to shake him off but Levi only gripped his arm tight and dragged him from the club.

When they were finally outside Levi dragged him halfway down the block before letting go. Eren didn't know what he was supposed to do. So when Levi started walking Eren trailed behind.

He tried to keep his balance but found himself stumbling before falling down onto his knees. As he went to stand he realised Levi had turned and had a hand outstretched toward him. In that moment he was back with his mother, the memory twisted and this time it was Levi who was shot. Everything went red and he didn't even hear himself screaming.


	8. 8

Levi had been worried, he hadn't heard from Eren all day and his mind drifted back to the scene of him covered in blood. In the end he'd cut school and stayed home growing more nervous by the minute.

It wasn't until after sunset he finally heard from Eren. A simple text with the name of the club they'd visited before. He didn't know what he was supposed to do but he found himself dressed and out the door before his mind caught up.

Pushing through the crowd it was easy to spot Eren sitting at the bar. Levi could practically see the pain radiating from the boy, he found himself nervous as he sat on the stool next to him.

He didn't speak, waiting for Eren to break the silence... only he didn't. Instead he sat there sipping his drink while Eren seemed bent on drinking to oblivion.

Finally it seemed Eren had had enough, he stumbled badly but Levi caught him before he could fall. The boy was clearly in pain and Levi couldn't take it, taking Eren by the arm he dragged him out.

Levi turned to walk home only half aware Eren was following. It wasn't that he minded he was just worried what Grisha would do if Eren stayed out. Hearing a muffled thud he turned to find Eren on his knees. He bit back as snort and reached out to help him up.

He didn't expect Eren to start screaming. His eyes were wide in terror and his whole body shook. Kneeling down he shook the body but he kept screaming. The sound made Levi feel physically sick and he slapped the boy wanting him to stop. Instead Eren slumped backwards completely out of it with eyes wide open.

Levi didn't know what he was supposed to do. Pulling out his phone he called Kenny.

*  
The ten minutes it took for Kenny to arrive seemed like a mini life time . He didn't ask any questions as he helped Eren into the back, only shooting Levi the "we'll talk about this when we get home look" he knew too well.

The drove back in silence and sometime during the drive Eren's eyes had slid closed. His face was still etched with pain but his breathing had evened out.

Kenny carried Eren from the car while Levi went ahead and opened the door before moving onto the bathroom. He had the shower running by the time Kenny carried Eren in. 

Levi didn't know what to say and let Kenny strip off Eren's damp clothes. He watched as his uncles face twisted and he shot a look up at Eren.   
"Grisha?"  
Levi nodded and he could see the effort it took for Kenny not to lose control. He lowered the boy into the shower not even caring he was getting wet.

"When he wakes up tell him he's staying here. I'll sort this out..."

Levi knew Eren would be pissed, but at the same time he felt relief. Maybe now things would pick up for the teen. Looking down he couldn't help but stare at all the new marks that covered the teens chest, especially disgusted by what appeared to be burns along the teens ribs. He didn't understand how a parent could do something like that.

Leaving Eren to warm up he sat down heavily on the edge of the bathtub. He let himself think about his own child hood. No one not even Kenny knew what had happened and it wasn't even that bad really.

His mother had been loving and he'd run amok on the street with his two best friends. True it wasn't perfect but it had never been like Eren's life.

He shook himself and pulled Eren out the shower. His eyes were still closed but he wasn't cold anymore. Propping him up he carried the teen to his room.

*  
Covering Eren's lower half with a blanket he took photos of the marks across his chest before rolling him over and taking photos of his back. 

He wanted evidence in case Eren tried to deny anything when the truth came out. He sent a copy through to Kenny too.

Eren moaned in his sleep and Levi rolled him back so he was now curled up against him. His fingers shook as he brushed Eren's fringe from his eyes. He couldn't help but wonder what the boy would look like with a true smile on his face.

*  
Kenny didn't come back until late. His face was bloodied and his left eye blackened, but still he had an almost creepily happy smirk on his features.

It was Levi's turn to give him the look.  
"Grisha won't be a problem again..."  
As Kenny sat down heavily on the sofa Levi sat across from him.  
"Dumb shit took the bait and I had him charged with assault"  
Levi nodded that certain explained the blood and bruises.

While I was giving my statement I may have also mentioned I had strong reason to suspect he was abusing his son. They want me to bring Eren in later to give an official statement"

Levi paled. No way was Eren going to be ok with this.   
"I've shown them the photos too so now it's up to Eren, I don't suppose he's awake yet either?"

Levi shook his head. While he agreed with Kenny he worried Eren would break if he had to talk about it.

Still he forced himself up and went back to Eren's side.


	9. 9

His head was throbbing and he realised he knew this ceiling. He was at Levi's and he couldn't even remember how he got here. Shifting under the covers he realised Levi was sitting next to him, quietly playing on his phone. 

Levi looked down at him again and he felt his heart skip a beat again. He couldn't stop the redness rising in his cheeks.  
"I thought you were going to sleep all day, come on it's time to get up"  
Eren slid across to the edge before realising he was naked under the covers. His eyes widened in fear. Once again Levi had seen his secret.

He was still panicking when he felt something hit his face, Levi had thrown a change of clothes at him.  
"Come down to the kitchen when you're dressed"

*  
Eren's heart was pounding as he headed down stairs. Grisha would be awake by now. He was in for it.  
Coming into the small kitchen he stopped, he didn't recognise the man sitting there but Levi had mentioned living with his uncle so this must be him.

"Tch... sit down already"

Eren pulled out a seat and sat down at the small dining table, he jumped when Levi put down a plate with toast in front of him and a cup of tea.

He couldn't help but feel like a bug under a microscope as he ate quietly. His stomach rolled and he realised this was his first meal in days.

He jumped again when he looked up at Kennys face, his heart sank and he had a horrible feeling about what had happened.  
"Eren has Levi talked to you?"  
Eren shook his head. Talked to him about what?  
"You'll be living here for a while alright?"  
As the words sank in something seemed to click. Grisha did that. Kenny had obviously seen the man at some point... but what reason did Grisha to... fuck. Levi had fucking told Kenny. 

Eren saw red.

He didn't even realise he was on his feet and yelling until he found himself on the floor with his arm pinned behind his back and Kenny's knee pinning him down.  
"Eren calm down. Levi didn't tell me. You got drunk last night... remember? You collapsed in the snow and Levi had to call me to pick you up. We stripped you to put you in the shower and warm you up. I saw the marks for myself... now I'm going to get off you so calm down and sit down"  
Eren nodded and felt the pressure ease off him.

Letting Kenny help him up he retook his seat at the table.

"I told Grisha you'd be staying here for a while and he didn't seem to take it too well. But thanks to his temper I've had him charge with assault"  
Eren nodded. He felt like there had to be more to this. No way Grisha would just loose his cool, but then again yesterday he would have been too drunk to reason.

"The next parts up to you. I told them I suspected your father was beating you and they want you to give an official statement... Eren it's going to be hard but if you testify you won't have to see him again. He won't be able to hurt you again..."

Kenny's words were cut off by Eren's hollow laugh. Kenny had no idea how far Grisha reach really was.  
Kenny was lucky he'd just walked away with a messed up face.   
Pushing away from the table he hissed across at Kenny  
"You fool... you've no idea what you've done"  
He ignored Levi calling his name and he took off out the door.

*  
He didn't stop running until he was finally home. He'd prayed it was all a joke but Grisha wasn't home. If Grisha was really with the police the first thing he'd do would be destroy any evidence of what happened here.

He knew the tapes Grisha had made were kept by his friends so he started trashing everything. He didn't care about the mess... if he could find something he could trade it and get Kenny and Levi left alone... well that was his plan.

He searched the office and examination room, finding nothing. His heart began to sink, time was working against him.

Running back up the stairs he started on Grisha's room.

Eren hadn't been in here for years but nothing had changed. He forced himself into the room, ignoring the fact his body was shaking.

He checked the bed first and under it and then the bedside draws. Nothing.

Moving over he searched through the book case and in the wardrobe, still nothing.

It was in the bottom desk draw he finally found something that looked promising. A single white unremarkable USB.

Moving to the computer chair he sat down and moved the compute mouse. Locked. Of course.

He tried his mothers name first, her maiden name, her birthday, Grisha's birthday. Nothing. He tried his name and let out a growl when the computer flashed again telling him the password was wrong. Half joking he tried his birthday. Password correct. He cursed Grisha again.

Plugging the USB in the opened the folder, it was filled with photos. Clicking on the first one he realised it was a photo of him clearly out of it on the examination room.  
Scrolling through the photos he couldn't stop the nausea and soon found himself vomiting in the small waste bin Grisha kept next to the bin.

Photo after photo of Eren, fresh wounds opened or some stranger over his body. His skin crawled.

He realised he now had the perfect trading chip. He'd be able to keep Kenny and Levi safe.

Opening the desk draw he searched out another USB and plugged it in. He quickly copied the photos over. Even if Grisha now destroyed that one USB he still had back up.

He heard a car door slam and grabbed both USBs and the bin. He held his finger down on the computers power button until it started to shut down and took off to find out what was happening.

*  
Grisha was furious. He could see it before Grisha had even reached the front step. Keeping the white USB in his hand he slipped the other into the bookcase in the foyer. 

Grisha charged through the door and grabbed him by the throat. He struggled again the mans large hands. Forcing his hand up he held the USB in front of Grisha's eyes. He took delight in the way they widened. Grisha let him drop.

"I know you know what this is. And I will give this back if you make me a promise. Leave Kenny and Levi alone and you can have it back. You can do what you want to me but you will leave them alone"

Grisha grabbed the drive back  
"Fine. You're fucking dead anyway"

Grabbing Eren by the hair he dragged him along the floor and threw him against the wall in the examination room. Eren's Head his the wall with a loud crack and his vision swam.

"All you had to do was keep your fucking mouth shut... but ever since you were born you've done nothing but fucking ruin my life. You took her love and then you killed her. You should have been wasted in the sheets"  
To accentuate his words he stomped on Eren's stomach over and over.

Eren welcomed the blackness.


	10. 10

Levi was fuming after Eren had run out. He wanted to chase the teen down and make him see sense but Kenny had grabbed his arm before he could leave the kitchen.

There was nothing either of them could do if Eren wouldn't press charges and Grisha would already be furious. He didn't know how long the police would hold the man for and Levi would only be putting himself in danger if he went after Eren now.

As much as he hated hearing it Levi knew Kenny was right. 

Still furious he throw himself into cleaning up his room.

Sitting on his bed he realised Kenny had brought Eren's clothes up at some point so he fished out Eren's wallet and phone. As he sat there he played with the mobile, soon realising he was the only one Eren texted at all. 

His stomach turned. He couldn't just leave Eren to face whatever was going to happen alone. Getting changed he grabbed his own wallet and phone and stuff them in the pocket of his hoodie before doing the same with Eren's. Even if Eren didn't want to talk it would still give him an excuse to see him.

Slipping down the stairs he was out the door before Kenny could realise he was gone.

*  
As he walked a sick feeling began to fill his stomach. It had already been hours since Eren had left and he wondered if Grisha was still with the police.

The feeling grew stronger and stopped in his tracks. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone before dialling 911. He ignored the shake in his voice as he filled the operator in on the situation, almost sighing with relief when the promised to send a patrol car by to check up on Eren.

Ending the call he picked up his pace.


	11. 11

Eren groaned as he came too. His father had moved him onto the examination table while he'd been unconscious.

He tried to push off from the table but his body wouldn't cooperate and he fell down on to the hard cold floor. It was then he realised his father was watching him from the doorway.

He flinched as Grisha walked across the room and squatted down in front of him, he flinched again as his fathers hand came up but the blow he was expecting never came. Instead his father brushed back his fringe.   
"Oh Eren... thanks to you I've come to realise just how pointless this all was, I really should thank you for opening my eyes"  
Eren shot him the best glare he could manage, he thought he could smell gas now that his senses weren't so dull. Whatever Grisha had planned it wasn't good.  
"You see I've realised I have wasted so many years on you only to have you betray me... do you know how much that hurts Eren?"  
He kept silent still glaring at his fathers now smiling face.  
"I know your confused but I've given you a shot to help and soon it will all be over, I'm leaving now and I doubt I'll ever see you again"  
Eren's eyes widened, Grisha was leaving? That couldn't be good for him.  
Reaching out Grisha took Eren's hand.  
"I always hated you Eren. Everyday you reminded me of her and I hated you for it but it's ok, once I'm gone this place will be little more than rubble. I expect they'll say how sad it is that my only son burnt to death in a tragic house fire, but I can't afford to leave anymore evidence. I never thought you'd find that thumb drive... I guess I was just too proud of my own work... but it's ok I'm still young enough to start again and this time I won't make the same mistakes"  
Eren tried to pull his hand back but all that happened was it fell limply to the floor.  
"Here let me give you one last parting present. Think of it as me giving you a helping hand"  
Eren realised in horror what his father was doing but couldn't move. He watched as Grisha raised the kitchen knife up and plunged it straight down into the centre of his limp hand.  
The howl he let out sounded twisted and strained. And he could only watch as Grisha stood and left.

The smell of gas was getting worse. It would have been so easy to sit there and let himself die. It was what his father wanted after all.

He closed his eyes and thought of his beautiful mother, he'd see her again soon. He tried to get lost in the memories but soon all he could see was Levi.   
Levi who seemed to be the only one in the world who wanted him to live.   
Levi the awkward popular teen who'd tried to help him so many times. Levi who's he'd fallen in love with.  
Levi would never forgive him if he died without exposing Grisha's crimes.

He forced his eyes open and stared at the blood pouring from the fresh wound. His world turned red.

It was an odd sensation, he wondered why this time he seemed to be able to tell what he was doing, it was like watching his actions through someone's else's eyes. He watched as he pulled the knife from his hand, he watched as he started to drag his uncooperative body towards the door, he watched as he forced himself up and staggered along toward the front door way. He watched himself stop for the USB. He watched as he stumbled and fell against the door, fingers awkwardly grasping for the handle. He watched as he forced himself to crawl across and then down the steps.

And then he couldn't move. He was so close but Grisha was still going to win. The house would soon go up in flames and he'd more than likely die in the explosion. If he could have he would have laughed out loud, he was a fool for even trying.

He was still laughing inside as he closed his eyes.


	12. 12

Levi's feet pounded against the pavement and his chest burnt. Erwin and Eren may have been brilliant at track but sadly he was just average.

It seemed to take forever before Eren's house came into view. He watched as Grisha's car left and he pushed himself just a little bit more.

He arrived just in time to see Eren less then gracefully collapse down the stairs and his blood ran cold. He could hear his heartbeat thudding in his ears as he pushed towards Eren.

Falling down beside his friend he knew the look in Eren's eyes. He was clearly trapped in his own head again. Slapping his face he tried to pull Eren out of whatever he was seeing. It was only then he realised Eren was bleeding.  
Fuck. This was his fault. Pulling off his hoodie he stripped his shirt and wrapped it around Eren's hand, he'd almost missed seeing the USB in it, he was giving into the rising panic.

He knew the cops should be here soon but he still felt like something was wrong.

He slapped Eren again trying to pull him back and after a long moment he was rewarded as the light came back to the boys eyes  
"Levi... run..."

Eren's voice sounded wrong, he wondered what Grisha had done, even if Eren wanted him to run he wouldn't. Not this time.

Looping an arm around Eren he dragged him towards the side walk before sinking down and pulling Eren up so he was sitting with his back against Levi's chest.

It was like slow motion. One minute they'd been sitting there, the next the whole ground shook and the world grew warm as Eren's house exploded. His ears were ringing and black spots danced across his vision. He'd realised Eren had passed out just before he himself joined him.


	13. 13

The steady beep in the background sounded muted, like hearing it through water. His ears rang and his whole body throbbed. Was this what it was like to be dead?

He pushed his eyes open, wincing as the harsh light invaded them. It took a long moment for him to completely comprehend where he was. He was alive. He was in hospital.

He felt a squeeze on his hand and forced himself to focus as he turned to face whoever it was. Why was Levi here?

Biting back a moan he tried to sit up but Levi shook his head and placed a hand on his shoulder. Secretly Eren was relieved as the movement had made him nauseated.

He could only watch as Levi's lips moved, the words were to far away to hear and understand. His eyes wouldn't stay open any longer and he let himself drift back into the darkness.

*  
The next time he woke he found he didn't hurt quiet so bad. His eyes scanned the room for Levi but he older teen wasn't there. He wondered if he'd imagined it all earlier.

He heard the door open and looked towards the entrance, the woman coming closer seemed normal enough, her uniform told him she was nurse.

He let her fuss over him with minimal resistance. He didn't really understand what was going on but felt if he asked the woman she wouldn't be able to give him a proper answer anyway. Instead he forced himself to remain calm and she finished her examination and left.

He'd just about drifted off when the door opened again. This time it was a couple of officers and he knew he would finally have to admit his secrets. He found himself relieved Levi wasn't here to hear his shameful and dirty side. Levi would never talk to him again if he knew the truth.

The officers were both in their 30s if he had to guess, the didn't bother with the gentle tones and fake sympathy and he appreciated it.  
He forced himself not to cry as he let them lead the conversation, answering all the questions they asked. He could tell they didn't like when the fact he said he deserved it all but they didn't bother to deny it. He was sure he would have broken even further if they had. It wasn't until they were leaving he finally remembered the USB, they told him that his friend Levi had already given it to the first responders and that he was lucky to have such a good friend. Biting his lip he nodded and they left him to his solitude.

When he heard the door click closed he finally broke down. Grisha was still out there and anything could happen. He worried that that might be why Levi wasn't by his side and found himself soon struggling for breath. He tried to calm down but it was no good and soon the machine next to him was letting out some sort of alarm.

Nursing staff rushed as his world turned black.

*  
This time when he woke up Levi was back. He tried to suppress the relief he felt seeing the teen was alright. Reaching out towards Levi he was rewarded when Levi took his hand into his own.  
"Hey..."  
He didn't know what to do as Levi half launched himself on him and held him tight. He was sure Levi would feel the way his heart had started pounding.   
"... Eren you had me so fucking worried..."  
Eren nodded as tears formed in his eyes. He'd never wanted to worry Levi. Levi pulled back and sat back down before retaking Eren's hand.  
"I heard the cops came by earlier... I hope you told them the truth this time..."  
Eren felt like a kid being scolded but nodded.  
"They told me you gave them the USB... how did you even get it...?"  
"You don't remember?"  
Eren shook his head and looked down at his bandaged hand. If there'd been blood then there was high chance he'd phased out. The last thing he could remember was the his father smiled. He couldn't help but shiver with disgust at the memory.  
"After you left I tried not to follow it I couldn't stop thinking... I couldn't help wondering what was going on with Grisha. Finally it got too much and I started towards your house... only I got this really sick feeling and called the police... i don't know how to really explain it... when I got to your house you were already by the front steps in one of those weird trances you do... when I went to bandage your hand the USB fell from it"  
Eren nodded, he didn't remember anything about getting outside  
"I finally got you to pay attention and you told me to run... so I half carried you to the curb. We'd only just sat down when the house exploded... that was Grisha right? He did that?"  
Eren nodded  
"He said he'd realised he should have never wasted time on me and that he should just kill me off and be done with it"  
Eren didn't miss the way Levi's jaw clenched or the anger flash through his grey eyes.

He watched as Levi forced himself to calm down.  
"Close your eyes for a second..."  
Eren didn't know what to expect but still forced his eyes closed, he almost panicked as Levi's hand left his and jumped as he felt something hit his lap.  
"Tch. You can open them now"

Eren was confused by the large white envelope now sitting on his lap. His fingers shook as he tried to open it one handed, in the end Levi had to open it for him and slide the contents out.  
Photos.  
His eyes filled with tears  
"I know everything in your house was destroyed and I don't know if Grisha kept any of your mum but I found all the ones I could online and got them printed. It didn't seem right for you not to have any"  
Eren broke down sobbing as he traced his mothers face with his still shaking fingers.  
"Grisha got rid of most of them... he only kept a couple where people could see them... I never knew what he did with the rest and even then those disappeared after a few years... I almost thought I'd been dreaming about how beautiful she was... but now... thank you Levi"

He tried to smile at the teen but he figured his face must look pretty awful because Levi scrunched his own up in reply.  
"Kenny said he wants you to come live with us too... when they finally let you out his place that it"  
Eren frowned and his chest tightened  
"Don't give me that look. Kenny can more than look after himself. You have no idea how crazy connected he is and if Grisha shows up at all he'll know about it long before he can hurt any of us... ok?"  
Eren nodded. He didn't know what else to do.

*  
He healed pretty fast from the wounds but was made to stay an extra two weeks in the psych ward. They wouldn't let him leave until they'd completely examined his mental state. They told him he had something along the lines of multiple personality disorder and that when he couldn't cope with things and "phased out" it was experienced by another him. Well they explained it better than that but that's what he heard. He'd immediately panicked but the doctor managed to calm him down before he got too worked up. They reassured him that it was a common occurrence given what he'd been through and talked about what seemed to trigger episodes.

The day he finally left was the happiest he'd felt in years. Christmas had come and gone while he'd been in hospital and Levi had graduated but it didn't matter. He was finally going to be able to start moving forward and have a real life.

Kenny and Levi had both turned up to pick him up but he hadn't expected Mikasa and Armin. Levi pulled his aside and assured him he hadn't filled them in on anything as it was up to Eren how much he wanted them to know. Eren almost kissed him out of happiness.

That night for the first time that he could remember they all sat down and had dinner together. Seeing Eren was the only one who seemed able to actually cook they'd ordered pizza and soon after Erwin and Hanji had shown up too.

*  
He'd fallen asleep feeling hopeful but had still woken up in the middle of the night panicking. It felt like he was being watched and he was sure Grisha was going to come for him at any minute. He forced himself to calm down and his hand were shaking as he turned the beside lamp on so he could get out his medication.  
He hated the idea of being on pills to feel normal. He felt so weak relying on the small tablets but he didn't want to make anyone worried or annoyed. Downing the pill he tried to go back to sleep, but soon found he couldn't. He just didn't feel safe. 

Even though everyone had left and it was just the three of them in the house he still couldn't bring himself so seem out Levi. Instead he gathered up his blanket and pillow off the bed and crawled into the small built in wardrobe. The darkness was suffocating but he finally felt like no one else was in his space, he soon fell back to sleep.

He was still there in the morning when Levi found him. He hadn't expected to be scolded for his actions nor had he expected Levi to tell him to just crawl into bed with him if he couldn't sleep. He nodded feeling like an idiot.

Eventually he started to relax into this life and it was another 3 years before they heard from Grisha again.


End file.
